Why I am Homeschooling My Autistic Son

Recently, during the first school year semester, I pulled my lowest functioning and youngest autistic son out of public school, where he attended an autism intermediate class. Here’s the story:

My son was moved to our neighborhood school, because they finally had an autism program. He was previously attending a school further away. His new teacher and aides were very kind, and patient. He struggled with the change, but he was adjusting. Then just a few months in, we found out, because of budget cuts, we were going to lose our teacher, and they weren’t keeping his aides. I was literally in tears, knowing how hard it is to find a good autism teacher, someone with compassion., and how hard it would be on my son. I was angry at the school , for not fighting for our kids. Special ed. classes are the red headed step child.

We were told that they would be dissolving a preschool program, and that the preschool teacher would move up to be his new autism teacher. I complained, I talked to the administration, but they just tried to flower up this new teacher like she was some kind of glorified autism guru…. listing all of her degrees. I had seen her and she was in one word: cold.

This was taken at the beginning of the school year, when he had a good teacher.

My son’s “good” teacher who was leaving, pulled me aside and said, “if he comes home saying something “happened”, BELIEVE him.” I was terrified for my son. Then on the day of the switch, which was a half day of his good teacher, and a half day of his new, his old aide pulled me aside, and in tears, expressed how much she loved my son, and how worried she was for  him. I told her that they were really scaring me! She repeated what the teacher had warned me about.

When I arrived to pick up my son, after school, I found him sitting on the bench were he waits, alone, his fists clenched, his face red with tears, crying and growling. No adults were with him, trying to help him. (even though there were three or four adults near him) I immediately asked him what happened, and let me just say, this has NEVER happened before. He’s never been this upset at school. He yelled through his cries, “that teacher kicked me!” pointing to his new aide.

“OH NO SHE DID NOT!” was my first thought..as my mama bear boiled to the surface with a vengeance.

I came up to her and questioned her about it. She completely denied it, and I repeated, “he said you kicked him, he is hysterically upset, he doesn’t make things like this up, explain this!” Her response was one that still bothers me to this day.. she said, “I am an adult! HE is a CHILD!”

WHAT?!?! I’m thinking… what does him being a child matter? So does she mean we don’t listen to children? We shouldn’t believe children? I was furious. I went to his new teacher, who played dumb, and said she has no idea what was going on. Nor somehow didn’t notice my son sitting there in hysterical tears waiting for the bell to ring.

I went and  found an administrator who listened to me as I cried, I was so upset, and my son cried, and this “aide” running up behind me trying to say “nothing happened”. The administrator told her she’d deal with her later and made her leave. Then the administrator tried to tell me, again, how great the new teacher was. HA! I was soo upset, probably more then I’ve ever been. I told  her I was not sending my son back until the aide was gone.

This picture was taken just after the incident. It is heartbreaking.

 

 

So that evening the principal calls and tells me she is starting an investigation. She asked us to come in in the morning. We came in and sat in the office waiting. The aide actually walked in with another autistic child, saying  hi to everyone but my son.  purposely shunning him. My son told his story to her. She started questioning people. The story was this: that my son was sitting next to his friend, another autistic child, in music. The aide for some reason, pulled her to a new place to sit. His friend yelled for help, and my son tried to help her by pulling on her arm. The aide then kicked my son in the stomach. (I’ve later since found out that she jabbed him in the side with her long fake nail when he wouldn’t do his seat work,that day).

So after she interviewed everyone she called me that afternoon.

“Sorry, but since I can neither prove or disprove this event, I can’t move the aide.” I responded with. “OK, I’m very disappointed, and I believe my son. I’ll be pulling him out today.”

This was taken the next school day, our first homeschooling day. We started out at our community garden.

So he has been homeschooling. He sometimes reveals new mean things teachers or aides have done. So I’m saying now.. a good autism teacher, no I mean a GOOD autism teacher is a priceless and rare human. I hope that if YOU have an autistic child, that you believe them. That you fight for them. I hope that if you are a special ed teacher, that you stop being one, if you know it’s not right for you, or you get out if you are burned out. And if you are one of the good ones, BLESS YOU!!!!! Keep it up! We need more of you. These innocent children deserve you, and more of you!